III. The Knowing

[madaboutit]

Lunch came and went, full of pages and her sweet voice, though Sweeney enjoyed them at a distance. In the chair instead of on the bed, he patiently shared her time until the afternoon grew late, and he excused himself, taking the older tray with him. It seems like it will be the pattern; one tray always left behind for her to keep what is still useful.

Dinner arrives, but he doesn't. A woman in flowing robes brings the meal, but she only steps in enough to put it on the ground, not bothering to collect anything. She doesn't speak or make eye contact.

Breakfast is the same.

When midday arrives, so does Sweeney, tray in hand. This time, however, he's not wearing his vest, only his simple, pale shirt. He crosses without hesitation, setting the tray on the end of the bed before crouching to rearrange the older things into a more efficient stack to take with him.

"I didn't mean ta leave you waitin'," he starts without segue. Sweeney's eyes remain low, but the apology in his voice is a little heavier than it would normally be, if the issue was simple tardiness.

The Collaring
Upping the Sexuality Game
Shared Bath
Bathing Ritual

Comments

[madaboutit]

When the chapter draws to an end, Sweeney closes the book with one finger trapped between the pages. He looks to the tray and then up to her.

"Are ya finished? Or would ya rather I keep at it?"

[whatsinfrontofyou]

She looks down at her plate again, mostly finished and untouched for the past few minutes.

She licks her lips, then rubs her hands over her robes.

"I think I've eaten enough," she says. "You're a lovely storyteller, though."

[madaboutit]

"Glad ya think so." Pulling his finger out, the book snaps shut.

"'fraid I'm a bit outta practice."

Again, they find themselves at the crossroads. Sweeney slowly sucks his lip, looking for a better topic than he ends up finding.

"How you feelin'?" Better, he hopes.

[whatsinfrontofyou]

"Clean," she says first which is very unhelpful, but gives her a moment to consider other parts of the answer. "And half dry. Fed. So not bad in that respect..."

Physically.

As for the other part.

"Better than before?"

[madaboutit]

He appreciates her efforts, but this is just destined to be awkward. Maybe he should cut his losses. Sweeney slowly releases his breath.

"What would ya like ta do? Read more or...I dunno." Ideas aren't in ample supply.

"Play cards or somethin'?"

Everything sounds trite when the more important things are all things she doesn't want to do.

[whatsinfrontofyou]

"Can I ask you another question? We can trade again, if you want."

Not that he's demanded things to answer other questions, but she wants to offer something in return for answering this one.

[madaboutit]

"Course you can ask."

He may not answer, but he'll try to.

[whatsinfrontofyou]

"Are you afraid... of something? Not me, I imagine, but of hurting me? Or scaring me?"

She studies his face as she asks.

[madaboutit]

Sweeney gives it honest thought, sucking his tongue, as if to test out the answer before speaking.

"I don't think 'afraid' is the word I'd use." But that doesn't mean it's not close.

"Maybe 'concerned'." He wets his lip, his gaze dipping to the floor for a passing moment.

"I know this is hard. You have e'ery reason ta hate it. Ta hate me, if only fer what I represent." It sucks, but he gets it.

"I just don't wanna push more on ya all in one go. But...I don't know what else ta be doin' in the meantime." Sweeney's eyes seek hers with sincerity.

"But I'm tryin'."

[whatsinfrontofyou]

"I know we are. We both are."

She does mean that, and she does see it. At least in some ways, she does believe they're in this together. They're both wearing collars, aren't they? And in the end, they both belong to the Summer King.

"I feel a little like I have you walking on eggshells. I can't possibly seem that much more fragile than the other girls you've trained."

[madaboutit]

She's not wrong about the walking. But his options about it are relatively limited. Her impled question makes him shrug.

"I don't think yer fragile. Quite ta the contrary." That's the problem.

"You've got a force'a will an' had no warnin' 'bout any'a this." Sweeney shakes his head.

"The other lasses I've worked with at least had the latter." There's a moment of reflection as he debates an addition.

"An' some are happy ta be chosen. Honored."

But not her, apparently. His voice is even, giving information rather than trying to evoke an emotional response from her.

[whatsinfrontofyou]

Well. That is fair—both the fact the other girls would be honored, but mostly that she wasn't warned and Sweeney had that situation dumped in his lap.

"It's been generations since anyone was taken from our village," she says, not exactly as a defense because she doesn't know that she has to defend herself, but just an explanation of how things seem from her side. "I suppose we've gotten lax about keeping up traditions in the last hundred years or so."

[madaboutit]

It's not that the explanation isn't appreciated; it just doesn't change anything. Still, Sweeney offers a nod in understanding.

"An' that's why I ain't lookin' ta be heavy-handed with you. Ya don't deserve ta be traumatized further, as much as I can help it."

Some will be unavoidable, but he's looking to give her as much as he can that isn't.

[whatsinfrontofyou]

"And I'm not ungrateful..."

Maybe she ought to leave it at that. They are doing their best, and she's not sure what airing this is meant to accomplish.

But she can't quite leave it there.

"I just don't want you to think that I'm... weak. Breakable."

[madaboutit]

"I don't think yer either of those things." There's a finality to the statement that suggest there's no ghost of doubt lingering.

"It's all the more reason that I want ya ta have what choices yer able." What to work on, how much he can touch, whether he stays in the room, etc.

[whatsinfrontofyou]

"All right. So long as we're on the same page."

Or close to it, at least.

She does have to wonder how different this would be if she'd wanted it. If it were an honor for her, rather than a surprise, rather than something separating her from her brother.

[madaboutit]

He nods once, in staunch agreement.

So, now what? They're back where they were before.

"So, what would ya like ta do fer the afternoon?"

[whatsinfrontofyou]

"I don't know," Vex admits after a moment, unsure what else she can do. "If I could do anything this afternoon, I'd go out in the woods. Even if I couldn't hunt, I'd want that. But I realize that's not on the table."

[madaboutit]

Hm.

No, it's not, but other 'outside the room' things could be. Of course, he's guessing there would need to be ice skates packed for a trip to hell before he'll be able to sell it. It takes several seconds to dare put it out into the air.

"We could go find another book in the library." Of course, there's the But, quick to follow.

"But I know the leash's a non-starter."

Sweeney gets back to brainstorming.

[whatsinfrontofyou]

It barely takes reflection before Vex confirms his assumption. She's consented to the collar today, and she's set limits on how much she can be touched.

She wouldn't rule out other compromises being possible, but the leash is still too much by far.

"I'm not ready for that."

Which doesn't mean he needs to do all of the planning.

"We could read more," she says. "I haven't finished this one yet. I could take a turn with it..."

[madaboutit]

At least she didn't snap at him for mentioning it. Still feels like a piece of a win.

"Course."

Sweeney takes the few steps to clear the distance between them and offers her the book.

[whatsinfrontofyou]

"You could sit while I read." So he's not looming, at least.

"Is there something you'd like to do?"

[madaboutit]

Sweeney offers a smile as he steps back.

"Readin' does me just fine." He goes to collect the chair, but he places it only halfway between the vanity and the bed.

Are there other things he rather be doing? Of course. But if he had a viable one, he would have already suggested it. So he sits, knees spread to minimize the discomfort he knows will be likely, by the end of things.

[whatsinfrontofyou]

Let it not be said Sweeney isn't patient with her, or that it's not noted. Vex watches him sit and considers suggesting he move to the bed before dismissing it. If this is as much as he's comfortable pushing her for the day... well, maybe he's not wrong about it.

After a brief moment to settle in, she opens the book again, finding the chapter he left off on and beginning there. While the start might be awkward, she smooths out soon enough, finding the rhythm as she reads.

The story gives her something to focus on outside of herself and her own situation.

[madaboutit]

He listens patiently, focused but not staring as she paints pictures with the words. They're familiar enough, but if they offer her comfort, that's all that really matters. Sweeney will listen for as long as she wants to read; perhaps it will be long enough for him to leave to collect dinner after. It's hard, not having something to do but wait.